


Bauma

by montes-carpatus (Carpathyah)



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Professors, Angst, Drama, F/F, F/M, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, tw: smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 16:27:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16350110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carpathyah/pseuds/montes-carpatus
Summary: During the summer, 25 year old, academic-driven, Dr. Angela Ziegler meets her neighbour's doctor in residence, 37 year old Dr. Moira O'Deorain, whom she hates. As the days pass, her opinion changes and falls in love for the first time.Inspired by - Call Me By Your Name (2018)





	Bauma

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by - Call Me By Your Name (2018), by Luca Guadagnino

The sound of church bells rang in the distance, declaring the end of the nine o’clock mass. She was already awake, having her coffee and reading the newest book she bought. It was cooler than expected and she pulled her shawl closer to her body.

 “Angela!” her neighbour called. Angela looked up and put her book next to her coffee mug. Barefoot, she ran across her garden to greet the elderly man.

 “ _Guten Morgen,”_ she greeted. In German, he offered her some fresh apricots from the small orchid he took care of. She kindly accepted and took the bag back with her to her seat in the sun.

 She picked one from her bunch and gave it a short run on her skirt to rid of any lingering dirt. With her thumbs she pulled the apricot apart, revealing the pit. Some juices made their way down her palms before she chucked the seed away from her. She licked the juices from her finger before putting one half in her mouth. The fruit was ripe, and especially sweet. It left her lips sticky as she ate the other half. With dried stickiness to her hands, she went back inside to clean up.

 She had waiting too many years after her parents’ passing to sell the house. She eventually moved away from the city and into it. Nature took over and the rose bushes her mother took care off had climbed up the white walls. The peach trees in the garden have been trimmed using her father’s old tools. She washed every inch of the home but kept the style has much as she can. Her old room became a guest room, if she were to ever to have one. She slept in her parents’ bed as she dreamt of having a bed that size when she was younger.

 As she dried her hands on the towel, she heard some english conversation in the distance. Not the same accent of the neighbour’s daughter that visited at Christmas. She thought nothing of it until she heard a knock at her door later that afternoon.

 “Angela, Dr. Ziegler, I want you to introduce you to my new doctor in residence,” he presented. She was tall, with bright orange hair. The sun already left her freckled skin a tint of pink. She smiled and held out her hand to her.

 “Moira, Dr. O’Deorain, a pleasure to meet a fellow doctor,” she introduced herself with an elegant Irish accent. Her handshake was firm but pleasant.

In French, he invited her to stay for dinner with them. She accepted back, in French. Surprisingly Moira spoke back in a broken accent that she could go in town to get a bottle of wine to share. He laughed loudly and said there was no need; there was plenty of wine on hand.

Angela sat on the South of the table, facing Moira in the North. She was a hit with her neighbours as they spoke about art and life back in Ireland.

 “Angela here, got her doctorate degree at the age of twenty-three! Such a beautiful woman, and an intelligent one too! Glorious,” he announced loudly. Angela bashfully waved her hand as she took a sip of wine. “Tell Moira what you do.”

 “No need to be so kind, sir,” she began. Moira was quiet as she listened to her. “I teach and practice at the University of Zurich.”

 “What do you teach?” Moira asked.

 “I teach Anatomy in the fall, about 300 Pre-Med students, and then I teach the medical writing classes in German, and in English, in the spring. I’ve also taught the Case Studies class in Biostatistics. I am also working within the Medical Department with administration, and I do medical engineering research on the side,” she explained. She chuckled, for herself, she  had only step foot into the medical facility. “And yourself?”

 “I am a genetics professor, at the University of Oxford,” she began. Angela’s heart jumped. “I am on the Genetics and Anatomy research team, and I came here to write the essay of my discovery in alteration of human genetics. It would be my fifth publication,” she half-boasted. Her neighbours praised her for her work and how she was a wonderful scientist. Her advancement in her career made her jealous.

 She declared that she disliked Dr. Moira O’Deorain, in her head. She had no business with being in the presence of her success. She felt small and overshadowed in comparison.

 The rest of the evening, she avoided eye contact with her. She listened to conversations but didn’t add much. Moira was another one of her neighbour’s residents, and soon she will forget their face and name as another summer passed. In the fall, she will be too busy with grading papers and her classes to be even be reminiscing about the past.

 The sun warmed her skin as she laid on a towel in her backyard in a black two-piece. She had a German radio station playing a mix of ambient and folk music. She took deep breaths as the wind grazed her cheeks.

 The silence was interrupted by the sound of footsteps in the grass and the sound of her name. She turned to face no one other than Moira.

 “Am I disturbing you?” she asked as she stood by her.

 “Not much, may I help you?” she said with a cranky voice. Moira was dressed in long white pants and a matching blazer. Her pink shirt was open at the neck, and most of the chest, exposing some of her breast.

 “You might be the best person to ask this, but, can you bring me to the library?”

“Can’t you drive?”

 

“I could, but I have only been here for seventy-hours, I don’t know the area,” she explained. “I’ll pay the gas.” Angela laid with her eyes closed for a moment before sighing and getting up. 

“I’ll get dressed, wait for me at my car in front,” she ordered. She ran up the steps of her home and pulled a dress from her bed. She picked up her purse from the counter and slipped on her shoes. Moira was right where she was supposed to be.

 

Moira was lanky in her seat, but Angela didn’t mention how to adjust it. The radio was on and the windows were open. They sat in silence as Angela watched the road.

 “This is the library, medical books are on the second floor on the right,” Angela said as she parked. Moira almost flew out of her car and up the steps to the library. Angela cursed and quickly got out of the car to follow her.

The library was quiet for a summer afternoon. Moira had found a few books while Angela made use of one. Like a child, she found a space on the floor and opened a French book about Victorian-era medical practices. Her eyes continuously glancing up as Moira walked back and forth between the aisles.

The library was home to most of her youth. She spent many summer days reading about medicine, and since she had returned, she had almost forgotten its existence.

 The setting sun shone bright beams of orange light through the windows of the library as Angela began another section of the book. Moira was on the table near by taking notes on paper. She mumbled to herself as she took down quotations. Soon enough, the pink glow of twilight signaled that the library was ready to begin closing for the day. Angela got up first and lightly touched Moira’s shoulder.

 “Hey, the library is going to close soon,” she whispered. Moira closed the book and she put away her papers. Angela lent the book she began reading that day at the counter. Moira went ahead and was already to her car when she thanked the librarian.

 “It’s beautiful in town when the sun sets,” Moira commented on as Angela unlocked her door.

 “Yeah, it is,” Angela agreed as she looked at the shades of golden yellow and pink reflect off the buildings.

 The drive back was quiet as before, the sound of crickets and owls were heard.

 “Wait,” Moira shouted as Angela parked and got out of her car. Angela stopped in her tracks and watched Moira pull a few Francs out of her pocket.

 “Oh no, don’t worry about it,” she declined it. Moira insisted and Angela shook her head and declined it again.

 “I won’t stress more, I thank you for your kindness.”

 “It was my pleasure. Good night.”

 “Good night.”

 They separated from each other and went into their respective homes. Angela dropped her purse beside the stairs and kicked off her shoes before going up the steps and making her way to her bedroom. It was a little too warm in the room and she walked over to open the windows. Across from her room, she saw Moira settling her things down on the table and removing her white coat.

 Angela quickly moved away from the window to not be caught. She swore to herself that she may not be able to live the rest of her summer without worrying that someone will see her nude. She found the spot in her room that would hide her from the windows and stripped down to shower.

 As she turned off the light at her nightstand she glanced at Moira’s window. She was writing away at her desk. Angela sighed, called her an arrogant woman and turned over and fell asleep.

 She was happy to be alone in her little house in the village. She didn’t think she needed anyone else in her life. The solitude gave her time to properly devote to her career and continue her studies. She didn’t wish for someone to sleep next to her at night, or give her kisses in the morning.

 The rain was heavy on a Wednesday morning. Wearing her mother’s old sweater, she spread out her fall schedule and began tweaking her exams for the anatomy class. She opened her powerpoint presentation and began adding and removing details. She was too soft on her students, and the exams needed to be harder.

Moira didn’t come see her that day.

It rained for a few more days, and she had many sweaters. There was no visits from Moira, she thought nothing more of it.

She saw Moira next when her neighbour called for her to come over for lunch. Moira was working hard, typing away on her laptop her information. She didn’t bother her. She spoke to the wife of her neighbour in French about the news.

“Maybe Angela can give you a hand with the writing of your paper, Dr. O’Deorain,” he announced. They both looked at him and then each other.

“Genetics isn’t my forté, sir. I believed I wouldn’t be of much help,” Angela excused herself. Moira’s gaze dropped to her notes.

“If you say so…” he replied awkwardly.

In the silence, Angela’s cell phone rang. She answered it and quickly ran outside to take the call.

“Jack? I thought you were in New York,” she said, shielding her eyes from the sun.

“Well, I’ll be in Zurich for a project, thought I would pay my favourite Swiss Doctor a visit,” he happily announced on the other side. “Hope you don’t mind me dropping by tomorrow. I won’t be long.”

“Absolutely no problem,” she said with delight. “I’ll see you tomorrow then. Do you still have my address?”

“Yes, I have it saved somewhere on my phone. I’ll see you tomorrow Angie.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” she returned and hung up.

“A lover?” he asked her as she walked back into the room. She blushed.

“No! Not at all, just an old friend paying a visit.”

“You must be eye of many men, Dr. Ziegler,” he commented.

“Well, I wouldn’t know that, sir, I have never been with a man,” she confessed.

Moira looked up from her notes to Angela. The hosts’ shrugged off her confession and he began reciting medical cases with Moira again and Angela was left to entertain herself with his wife for a little bit longer. They exchanged gazes before they began their appropriate conversations.

They casually met later on in the evening, when the half moon lit up the sky. Angela was smoking a cigarette while reading a book.

“Can’t sleep?” Moira commented as she sat on the metal chair next to her. She pulled out her own pack of cigarettes. Angela exhaled loudly and passed her lighter.

“Drank coffee too late after dinner,” she responded as she ran her hand through her hair. “Why are you still awake?”

“Writing,” she replied. “But I saw you were awake from the window.”

“Thanks for the sentiment,” Angela coldly scoffed as she took a drag and let the smoke escape from her nose. She chuckled. They sat together in silence, letting the sound of nature break the tension.

“Are you a virgin?” Moira suddenly asked.

“None of your damn business,” Angela snapped back.

“So you are,” Moira countered.

“I’m an academic, I don’t have the time to see new people and develop relationships,” she proclaimed.

Moira didn’t push further, and finished her cigarette. She yawned as she crushed it in the glass ashtray and walked away, shouting a goodnight. Angela stayed out a little longer, wrapping herself in her cardigan and letting the cigarette burn between her lips. She thought about all those times she did try a relationship, but she was just never ready to go that far.

“Fuck me,” she mumbled out loud. She crushed her cigarette and headed to bed.

Technically, summer hadn’t started yet. The calendar marked only a few more days left, but it felt like the sun had already left it’s burn. The days were hot, and the nights were cold.

Jack had arrived midday in a white rental. Angela heard him honk and ran out to greet him in a mint green skirt and white t-shirt. He wrapped his arms around her tightly.

“The ride wasn’t too bad?” she asked as she took one of his suitcases.

“It was great, no traffic,” he expressed as he followed her into the home. He gasped as he looked around. “I like what you did to the place.”

“Yeah, the place needed new paint,” she replied as she continued up the steps. She put his stuff next to her old bed. She had already prepared new sheets and some towels for him. “I prepared some linen and towels, please, let me know if you need anything else.”

Jack chuckled as he put his bag down. “Everything looks great. Thank you for letting me stay.” He kissed her forward. She gleamed in return.  “Is the river cold?”

“I haven’t gone,” she said. “All the snow on the mountains haven’t finished melting yet.”

“Well, let’s go try it out.”

The water was indeed very cold and Angela squeaked when she dipped her toes in. Jack was already almost chest deep in the water.

“It’s freezing!” she shouted with her arms tightly around her chest as she tried to go deeper into the river.

“It’s great!” Jack shouted back as she walked back towards her. He held out his hands for her. “Come on Angie, take my hand.”

She put a hand in his and followed him deeper into the water. As her body got used to the cold, she prefered it to the beaming hot sun over their heads. She sunk deeper, feeling the current against her body. She dipped her head underwater to cool her burning cheeks.  She came up as she could not hold her breath any longer and pushed her hair away from her face. The sun was welcoming, as the breeze that hit her back gave her goosebumps.

“How’s your teaching going?” he asked her casually as she wiped the water from her face.

“Very well, I am teaching some of the Doctorate students next spring,” she mentioned. “Teaching anatomy again, so I’m updating my exams. Working on new powerpoints…”

“Relax,” he interrupted. “Summer is just starting. You have three months to work on them.”

“I rather not rush,” she responded.

“There’s a difference between rushing, and taking advantage of the time you have off.”

She didn’t object his statement and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Jack sighed and stood in front of her, rubbing cold water on her warm arms. “It’s okay, Angela.”

They stayed in the lake until their fingers pruned and the sun began setting in the horizon. They slipped their clothes over their wet bathing suits and made their way back to her home. The lights of her neighbour’s home were lit and Moira stood outside with a few people, talking about her work. They weren’t people Angela recognized and she didn’t feel like meeting new people in wet clothes.

As she exited the car with Jack, the people looked back at them.

“Who are these people?” Jack whispered.

“People probably from the counsel,” she responded as she held her beach towel tightly in hand. She waved to her neighbour and Jack did the same. She couldn’t help but catch Moira’s gaze. She was serious, speaking with a man much shorter than her about her research. She was dressed in dark colours that made her look almost ghostly pale in the yellow light. Angela swallowed hard as her blue and red eyes shifted away from her.

“Who’s she?” Jack asked as they kicked off their shoes at the door.

“The new doctor in residence,” she explained as she placed her towel on a coat hook. “She’s an Oxford graduate.”

“Impressive,” he commented. She didn’t reply.

She declined her neighbour’s invitation for supper, as she had a guest over herself.  

Jack helped her cook a light dinner of fish and vegetables. Together, they laughed over inside jokes and nudging each other at the slightest attempt at being serious. She sat on the countertop while Jack stirred the food. Jack’s blonde hair shone a different blond from her in the light of her kitchen. She noticed strands of silver near his ears.

“Already gray?” she said as she ran her fingers through the strands.

“It gives character,” he replied. “I’m going to be forty soon.”

“Old man,” she giggled.

“Not everyone was a child prodigy like you,” he poked, shaking the wooden spoon at her.

“I heard the army gives you grays at twenty,” she countered. He chuckled as he let her push hair away from his face. She smiled as she watched him cook.

She described him as tall, and strong but soft hearted. He had joined the army at a young age and dedicated his life to peacekeeping. She had met him by accident when she was only a medical student. He was visiting Zurich with a few colleagues and she was at the bar with classmates. She had forgotten her sweater on a bench and he ran after her with it. It had sparked a friendship between them that seemed unbreakable.

“I think you’re beautiful,” he whispered against her lips. Her heart was racing as she teased a kiss with a breath. He began pressing his hand against her breast. She trembled under his touched from the nerves. She gripped onto the sheets of her bed.

Her conversation with Moira replayed over and over in head. She remembered the look she gave her when she admitted that she was still a virgin. Her heart told her no, but her brain said yes as he unzipped her skirt and pushed it off her hips.

“Are you okay?” he asked as she looked down at him with piercing blue eyes. Her hair was loose from it’s ponytail. She searched for answers in anything but his eyes. She sighed and sat down next to him.

“I don’t know,” she concluded. He didn’t push further and pulled the cover from the edge. He laid back down and turned away from her.  She watched the trees from outside her window move in the breeze. She got up from the bed and found her shirt and skirt. She quietly walked down the stairs. She grabbed her pack of cigarettes from her purse and a lighter.

The breeze forced her to cover her flame to prevent catching her hair on fire. The night was warm as she dragged a long breath. Her thoughts spun around her head as if she was Jupiter and the moons were questions. She let her mind wonder as she watched her cigarette slowly burn away and leaving ashes in the air. Looking up at the moon, she figured it was getting close to two in the morning. She should be sleeping.

She feared going back up to her bedroom to a sleeping Jack. She called herself a coward and prude. At twenty-five, she felt like an awkward sixteen year old girl.

She burnt out the cigarette next to the one she and Moira shared only a few days before. As the woman crossed her mind, she took a glance at her window. Her window was open, but there was no sign of a lit desk lamp.

She quietly made her way back into her home to lay next to her beloved friend. She brushed her teeth quickly and stripped of her skirt. Jack snored away as she pulled the sheets towards her. She laid her head down and watched his chest rise and fall until it put her to sleep.

“Do you hate me?” she yawned as she awoke to Jack looking out the window. He looked at her as she sat up in bed. Her hair was disheveled.  

“No,” he replied as he walked back over to her side of the bed. He took her face in his hands and felt a breath escape her lips as he kissed her. “I can’t hate you,” he reassured.  He brushed blond strands away from blushed cheeks.

Her heart beat too quickly for a weekday morning.

She could not stop indulging in affection and enjoyed the feeling of his hands on her hips. She prepared coffee and she could not help but smile in his direction. She wore his clothes. She smoked his American cigarettes.

The bed became more of a cloud as the bumps pushed them together in their sleep. She let him lay on her stomach as she stroked his hair. Her mind became a haze.

It rained when he had to leave. She held her umbrella over their head as he dropped his suitcase in the trunk.

“I’ll see you soon, I’ll stay longer next time,” he said as he placed another kiss on her mouth.

“You are very welcomed to pass whenever you please,” she offered.

She watched the white car disappear into the gray of the pouring rain. Already, she craved his touch and pulled her sweater close to her as she went back inside. She fixed up the bed he never ended up using. When it came to her own, she crawled onto it and buried her face in his pillow. It smelled lightly of his body wash. She recalled the nights they curled up against each other. She thought of his arms around her waist and his lips on her shoulder.

She couldn’t help but grind lightly against the bed and groan. She let her face sink into the pillow until she could not breathe anymore and had to come up for air. She was frustrated with herself for allowing the emotions of romance fill her academic mind.

She pulled herself off the bed and decided to distract herself to get rid of the thoughts. She opened her agenda and notes. She planned more assignments as the sound of rain echoed in the room.

The next time she saw Moira was when she came back from doing some groceries. Her place skin had become freckled and slightly pink. She hid her face under sunglasses and a large floppy hat.

“Angela, there is a festival in town tonight. The whole village will be there! _C’est magnifique!_ ” her neighbour cheered in French. “You must come with us. Moira even agreed to be there.”

She pulled the rest of her bags out of her trunk and placed them at her feet. She had her assignments on her mind but she took Jack’s word.

“I would love to come,” she smiled. He called out to Moira that she was indeed coming along. Moira waved back. He shouted that he will be expecting her at dinner, and then he’ll drive them there.

Dressed in white, Angela sat next to Moira at the table. She was reading some stapled papers together. The sun was setting in the horizon and the air smelled of freshly cut grass and barbecue. The professor and his wife were too absorbed into talking with other guests that they didn’t pay much attention to them at the other end of the table.

“You look like a vampire that just discovered sun,” Angela commented as she sipped on sparkling wine. Moira let out a chuckle.

“Guess my sunscreen wasn’t strong enough for Swiss summer,” she replied from under her hat. Angela giggled.

“No one expects a Swiss summer,” she said. “How’s the writing going?”

“Splendid,” she boasted as she turned a page. “Heard that you have a new boyfriend.”

Angela blushed and swished the remaining drink in her glass. “I wouldn’t call him a boyfriend.”

“Oh? You seemed quite close,” Moira pushed.

“He’s a gentleman, but, uhm.. I am too attached to my work to go further,” she enforced.

“I understand,” Moira replied as Angela finished her glass.

They sat beside each other in the back seat. Moira was awkwardly tall for the car; she had to take off her hat to make space. Angela stared outside her window, watching the yellow lights light up the houses they crossed.

When they arrived, the party had already begun. They have found a small table where the professor would gladly look over their drinks.

Surprisingly Moira had already made her way to the middle of the open dance floor. Angela chugged down her beer before joining her.

“I didn’t knew you danced?!” Angela shouted over the music.

“It’s David Bowie, how can I not dance?” she yelled back.

It was a side to Moira that Angela didn’t expect but she took this expression with open arms. Angela closed her eyes and let herself be swept by the sound. Every so often, she would open her eyes to see Moira always dancing not too far from her.

When they were tired and the music had slowed down for all the couples in the crowd, Angela and Moira went to the bar to buy a few drinks.

“When I was about your age, I had long hair. I couldn’t do it anymore, and I chopped it all off,” Moira told as she sipped on her beer.  Angela gleefully listened.

“This is the longest it has been, and I can’t have it longer. Too much work,” Angela said as she twirled a strand around her finger. “What compelled you to come to Switzerland for a medical residency?”

“Peace, fresh air, the mountains, anywhere that was the opposite of London,” she replied.

“I’ve been to London before for a conference, during my graduate studies. It is, very different than what I am used to today.”

“Sometimes I wish I can stay,” Moira whispered. Angela took another chug of her beer. She had nothing more to add, verbally.

“C’mon, let’s go dance a little bit more,” Moira said as she chugged the rest of her beer and offered her hand to Angela. In return, she finished the rest of her own glass and followed Moira into the crowd as the music picked up again.

This time, they were very much aware of each other. Angela blamed it on the alcohol buzz that forced her to keep her sleepy eyes open. In tune, they took each other’s hand and Moira spun Angela clumsily as she laughed.

They had stayed long past due, laughing over drinks and dancing until their legs were tired and begging to sit down. The professor and his wife were only smiling half-asleep as they finally said that they can go home. Angela could barely stay away during the ride home and found herself putting her head on Moira’s shoulder to stabilize.

“Would you like to come by for tea?” Moira asked as Angela exited the car. “I mean, if the professor allows it.”

“Angela is always welcomed in my home, she knows that,” the professor shouted as he walked towards his home with his wife beside him.

“I would love to join you,” she drunkenly agreed.

“Goodnight,” Moira wished as they separated.

Angela stripped in her bedroom before running warm water. The water didn’t help the warmth she was already experiencing and turned the cold water on. Her eyes did not close as the ice water almost stung her back. It motivated her to be out as quickly as possible.

She dragged herself back to her bedroom. She didn’t bother checking if Moira’s light was still on as she crawled into bed. The smell of Jack’s body wash was already gone and her mind quickly wandered off to repeating songs from the party. Hugging her pillow, her mind let itself sleep.

It took more than one cup of black tea to wake her up the next morning. She laid in bed well into late morning and coaxed herself to get up to make herself some crepes.  She pulled on a pair of her mother’s jean shorts that were pretty worn at the hems. She pulled out one of her father’s t-shirts and stuffed the extra fabric into her shorts.

Moira was already outside in her reading glasses; her books and notes scattered across the table. Tea was served in a porcelain pot and a few mugs. The wife had come out with a few biscuits as snacks with their tea. Angela had gotten her glasses out as well. She had picked out an article out of the bunch and began reading it.

There was a sound of chimes in the wind that gave a soundtrack to their afternoon reading. Moira scribbled down some notes in the margins when she could. Angela highlighted some important notes.

“Not to be biased but, this research wasn’t done very well,” Angela commented.

“Which one are you reading?” Moira asked.

“The one by Dr. Kingston, at the University of California. The alteration of human DNA for advanced regeneration, is a very unstable science, and he has proved that when altering the DNA composition of biological things that it can go wrong. The University has documented signs of deformailities in their clinicals.”

“The alternation of DNA at the cellular levels may be able to change how humans evolve in the future. We are diseased and our immune systems are weak.”

Angela sighed, “The human body is forever evolving. We won’t be the same come three hundred years, Moira.”

“No, we won’t, but what if we can accelerate it.”

“The human body is a complicated network. You are going to force a set of DNA to evolve the rest. Time would be crucial.”

“It takes about seven months for most of the body to accept the changed cells.”

“At what cost?”

“About five months of constant supervision and narcotics.”

Angela groaned as she tried to stay unbiased but Moira’s work had proven itself to be very much out of her league, and morals, in medicine.  She sipped at the cold tea in her mug and returned to highlighting. She believed she had gone through perhaps one hundred different blood charts and there were more to go through. Angela switched her gaze temporarily to the other Doctor. Moira was chewing lightly on an end of a pen as she held her head up to read her notes.

She took note of how loose her shirt around her chest and how lanky her legs really were. Her single red eye, a sign of albinism in her own line of genetic traits. Her bright hair almost matching the colours of ripe apricots under the sun.

“Am I more interesting than the clinicals, _Dr. Ziegler_?” Moira asked suddenly. Angela’s gaze turned away from her.

“I was thinking,” she stated. “Reflecting.” She pushed her glasses back into place.

The peacefulness of the afternoon continued and Angela was well beyond concluding all the blood charts. Her head was tipping and her eyes weren’t paying attention anymore.The sky began turning its familiar shades of orange and pink. She looked over to Moira, as she hasn’t heard her pencil scratch paper in a while.

Moira’s eyes were half lidded; glasses at the edge of her nose. Her head held up by her hand.

“Moira,” Angela started. Moira blinked and looked at her, waking up from her daze.

“I think we’re done for the day,” she announced and put her notebook down. Angela agreed and put her notes with Moira’s. She hadn’t seen the professor and his wife all day and assumed that he had gone into town to see friends.

“Are you alone tonight?” Angela asked as she gave the yellow highlighter back to Moira.

“Seems so, the professor had left me alone this evening. You have something in mind?” she questioned. She thought of what they can do, and her empty stomach had spoken.

“We can go into town for dinner,” she offered.

“Fine, I’ll pay,” Moira agreed.

“This isn’t a date,” Angela blushed. “We’re just going for dinner.”

“I believe so, but I would like you repay you for keeping me company today.”

“It’s my pleasure to assist a doctor like yourself, in your documentation. No need to pay me.”

Angela drove. The music of an Italian opera station played softly on the radio to fill the air. The sound of crickets and other nightly wildlife was heard as they passed fields.The village resto-pub was busy with people when they arrived. Angela lead on and Moira followed her through tables and chairs, careful not to lose her.

“Is it always this busy?” Moira asked over the crowd.

“Always, especially in the summer.”

Moira ordered drinks for both of them, no matter how many times Angela said that she would pay for her own drinks and food. Moira did not listen. Angela gave in and only sipped at her drink, so Moira wouldn’t buy her another one. They spoke about medical school, about blood tests, and compared how many hours of sleep they lost during their doctorate studies.

“Don’t you dare ask for one bill,” Angela snarled as Moira put her hand up for the bill.

“I won’t,” she lied, and put one finger up.

 “I hate you,” Angela huffed as Moira paid their meal and drinks. Moira chuckled to her response.

When they left the pub, it was well close to midnight. Angela welcomed the cool, fresh air on her warm face. She lifted her arms to let the cool breeze enter the sleeves of her t-shirt.

“Where are you going?” Angela asked as Moira walked in the opposite direction of her car.

“A walk,” Moira shouted. She jogged up to meet up with the older woman. “I rather digest a little before going back home.”

Angela jogged up to meet up with her and walked at her pace.

“When did you know that medicine was your calling?” Moira asked suddenly. Angela took a moment to remember.

“It was kind of forced upon me in a way that I just accepted that this was the path I was going to take. My parents were doctors, and since I was a toddler, I expressed an intelligence that was advanced for my age. I took exams. I was writing college grade essays at the age of fourteen,” she started and then took a big breath. “My parents died in a plane crash while coming home from doing conferences in Japan. I worked so hard, to keep my mind busy, to numb the feeling of emptiness. I have no siblings, no known relatives. Before I knew it, I had my doctorate diploma at the age of twenty-three.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your parents,” Moira added. “The house I presume it’s your parents’?”

Angela nodded, “I couldn’t let anyone else live in that house.”

“Do you enjoy medicine now?”

“I enjoy teaching it. I enjoy being beside students my age or older and tell them about the fundamentals of the human body and how it’s an endless study.”

“Admirable,” Moira complemented.

“And yourself? Why do you study medicine?” Angela asked as she stepped up on a platform and paced her steps as if she was on a balance beam.  

“To push boundaries. To rebuild the fundamentals that make us human. If we do medicine with our hands on old books, we will never advance as a species.” Moira paused to touch the petals of roses that peaked through a fence. Angela was only a little ahead of her on the platform, she found Moira to be only what she couldn’t be. She jumped off to look back at her.

Under the yellow street lights of the village center, there was a different air as Angela watched Moira pick the rose and pluck at the petals. She put her hands in her pocket as the last of the bunch fell onto the pavement and she chucked away the center.

“Angela,” Moira popped her bubble. It was the first time she heard her name spoken out of her. The sharpness of her vowels made her heart jump in her chest. “Would you like to go home?”

“Only if you want to,” she replied. Moira shrugged.

“It’s late, let’s go,” she smiled as she fixed the cuffs she had pushed up to her elbows. After some insisting that she was unfit to drive, Angela gave up her car keys and let Moira drive. She leaned her head on her hand as she watched the stars and the moon light up the hills.

“We’re here,” Moira whispered. Angela stretched before getting out of her car.

“Goodnight, Angela,” Moira wished as she gave her back her keys.

“Goodnight,” Angela wished back.

As soon as she walked into her home, she could not listen to any other sound other than the pounding in her ears. Her face was warm and no amount of cool water could flush the feeling from her cheeks. It dragged her into a deep sleep. 

She didn’t want to speak of the feelings that were developing inside her chest. She looked forward to seeing her, to hear her voice speak her name. It was to her blessing that they would speak every day.

She put on red lipstick hoping the older woman would notice her intentions. She left marks where she could; on pens, cups, cigarette butts and napkins.

“What is the occasion?” Moira asked as she looked at Angela during afternoon tea. 

“No occasion, I just felt like it,” she replied with a smile on her face. Moira brought her hand up to her mouth and nipped her finger with a grin. She chuckled.

“It’s lovely. It suits you.”

Her eyes traced the outline of Moira’s breast through her shirt was so new to her. She thought about it as the lipstick faded from her lips throughout the day.

It began to make sense.

“Mama, Papa, love me as I am,” she prayed as she wiped the remaining red off on a washcloth. She shook her blonde hair free from its’ ponytail. It was growing long, and unruly. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, tugging at the corners of her eyes; smoothing out the small wrinkles that began to form. She poked at her dark circles and cupped her breasts through her shirt. She pushed them up and them let them fall. She pinched her hips and the small amount of fat that sat on her lower stomach.

As she sat on her bed, she could only stare into Moira’s room. Her desk lamp was on. It took a few while to see Moira appear in the radius of the light. It brought warmth to her face to watch her sit there and read her book. Her usual styled hair was down; framing her glasses.

Moira never noticed her. Angela watched her get up from her seat and undress. Her heart beat faster as she saw her topless self disappear into the darkness. Falling back onto the bed, Angela took a pillow to scream into. She curled herself around it and fell asleep.

The next morning, the clouds were dark, threatening to pour at any time. It didn’t stop her from sitting down and having a smoke. She had been up early and tried to continue working on her assignments. Moira’s breasts were embedded into her mind and left her unable to produce coherent Powerpoint presentations on the cardiovascular system.

“It’s going to rain soon, you sure you want to be outside?” Moira exclaimed as she picked up Angela’s lighter from the table and lit her cigarette. Swearing as she shielded the flame from the wind.

“Do you want to come over today?” Angela interrupted. Moira blew out the smoke and looked at her.

“Sure,” she replied.

As they felt the first few drops fall, they quickly finished their cigarettes and headed inside. The rain echoed off the windows and into the house. Angela had put a kettle on for some coffee.

Moira didn’t want to do any type of work. “I haven’t stopped since my arrival, I’m glad to be away from the professor.”

“Yeah, he is a lot to handle when it comes to his work.” Angela agreed as she prepared the coffee maker and two mugs.

“He speaks a lot about you, your parents...” she continued.

“My father worked with him.”

“He was a heart surgeon. Your mother…”

“Bio-mechanical engineer. They met in grad school.”  Angela poured the coffee in two mugs. “They traveled a lot.”

“I can understand his attachment then,” Moira said as she watched her pour a little bit of milk in their mugs. “No sugar.” Angela only put a teaspoon for herself before settling onto the sofa. Angela picked up her mug and sat beside her.

“It’s raining pretty hard,” Angela mentioned as they sipped their hot coffee. Moira looked out the windows.

“Can’t be helped, needed the rain,” she said. Angela moved her body so she was looking at Moira. Her black t-shirt was perhaps a size too big and stuffed into her trousers. Her arms were covered in brown freckles all the way to her fingers.

“Talk to me about London; about Dublin,” Angela ordered.

“Nothing special. Cold, rainy, old,” she began. “I would describe London like an old book. Outdated, but full of history. You can see the age through the textures in the papers and the worn out spine… Dublin.. Is nothing like London. Dublin is the smell of smoke and wheat on a Sunday morning after church. The sound of someone playing the violin in the downtown square,” she told. Angela quietly listened, trying to image all the scents and sounds.

“I would love to visit Dublin one day,” Angela said.

“I would gladly be your guide,” Moira proclaimed. She giggled in response before burying her face in her mug.

The rain has no intentions of stopping that afternoon. Moira has found one of Angela’s old textbooks in German, while Angela found her glasses and the library book that was soon due.

“What does ‘H- _Herz-Kreislauf’_ mean?” Moira asked.

“Cardiovascular,” Angela replied. “Literally, heart and circulation.”

“Interesting,” Moira mumbled and went back to the book. Angela smiled as she pushed up her frames. Suddenly, Moira shifted in her seat and laid her head on Angela’s thigh. “Hope you don’t mind.”

Angela’s face was beat red as she looked down at Moira. “Not at all! Make yourself comfortable.” It made her heart race. She tried keeping her eyes on her book but she couldn’t help but look down and count the freckles on her cheeks.

“Your cheeks are a little flushed, are you feeling alright?” Moira asked as she caught Angela’s gaze. Her blue eyes went elsewhere.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” Angela replied as she covered her face with her book. Moira started up at her a little longer before going back to her own book.

Angela hadn’t turned a page. She was fixated on Moira’s heart beat that she felt from the back of her neck, and the soft texture of her hair against her leg. She daydreamed of mismatched coloured eyes and how they reflected light and long nails tracing lines onto her back. She imagined of her lips against the skin of her chest.

In their meditation, Angela’s phone rang. Moira moved and with numb legs she walked over to take it.

“Allo?” she answered. It was the professor, asking if Moira could join him. A colleague was over for dinner and he would like if Moira could talk to him about her research. She put her hand on the bottom end of the phone.

Moira sighed, “I’m on my way,” before Angela could even speak. She got off the couch and waited for Angela to hang up. “We’ll go out for coffee tomorrow if the weather is nice. See you tomorrow,” she wished before leaving by the front door.

Angela’s heart dropped and it stayed in the pit of her stomach. She dragged herself to the sofa and sat where Moira laid. It was still warm and the old piece of furniture absorbed her fragrance. She stretched her body over the space and daydreamed of laying on her chest.

Daylight was slowly fading when she woke up from her trance. She yawned and pulled herself off the sofa and wondered around her house as the rain slowly came to an end. The trickle of water in her gutter echoed near her bathroom window.

She dragged herself to her room and slipped off her shorts, running her hand over the spot where her head rested. She untied her hair from its ponytail and ran her hands through to loosen any knots that might’ve formed. She walked up to the familiar window and cracked it open, feeling the gush of humidity enter her home.

“Did you fall asleep?” Moira spoke from inside her room. She was wearing her glasses and her styled hair was pushed to the side. Angela sat down at her desk. Her face flushed and happy to talk to her. Her heart picked up speed in her chest as she picked up a pencil and twirled it between her fingers.

“You can say that,” she yawned. “How was the dinner?”

“Same old, realized I was a bit behind on schedule, so I figured I would find some time after the party to write,” she said. Angela watched her highlight something in her notebook.

The moon would peek through the clouds on and off, giving more light than just their desk lamps.

“I should work on my future assignments,” Angela groaned.

“Reminds me that I should finalize mine. I only teach one class in the spring.”

Angela groaned even louder in response with jealousy. She had left her work downstairs and did not feel like going to get it. She didn’t know what to do with herself as she watched Moira write. Her eyelids were heavy as the night sounds of crickets and birds filled her ears alongside the scratching of pencil on paper.

“You should go to bed, it’s late,” Moira chuckled as Angela’s head drooped.

“I should,” she replied but she didn’t want to sleep in her empty bed. “You should too.”

“Maybe I should. I’ll wish you goodnight then,” she replied as she closed her notebook.

“Wait,” Angela shouted as she watched her get up from her chair. Moira paused in her movement and caught her eyes. Her heart beat a mile a minute but the words weren’t forming in her head. She thought of the words in German but they couldn’t express the same in English.

Moira wouldn’t understand.

“ _Gute Nacht_ ,” she wished with a sigh.

“ _Oíche mhaith_ ,” she returned as she closed the windows.

Angela wrapped herself in her knitted wool blanket as she sat on the bed. She tried to sleep; her eyes closing but never finding the wanted darkness. Her mind darted between her new found love for the older woman to her anxiety about finishing her lessons on time.

Her body wanted none of the work, and as she heard the first birds sing their morning songs, she had fallen asleep in her nest.

She was awoken by the sound of the doorbell ringing several times. She groaned and took her blanket with her down the steps to the door, yelling in German that she was coming.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were still asleep. Do you want to reschedule?” Moira greeted a mortified Angela.

“No! Not at all. I’ll get dressed,” she insisted as she turned around and ran up the steps. Moira has closed the door behind her and had resumed her position on the sofa.

Angela never had a faster shower since her student days. She ran her hands through her damp hair and applied some mascara. She picked a pale blue dress her closet and as carefully as she can under the pressure, applied a layer of red lipstick.

“I’m ready,” she announced as she ran down the steps. Moira closed the book she was reading and joined up with Angela at her car.

Moira played with the radio channels as Angela drove down the grassy summer hills into town.

“Are you going to choose a station in the near future?” Angela asked as Moira went through the same channels for the last ten minutes.

“I would like to listen to something I understand,” she answered. Angela groaned and pressed her third preset. The announcer spoke German, to Moira’s dismay.

“It’s going to play some English songs soon,” she translated. “Hope you’re a fan of the nineties punk scene.”

“I’m more of an eighties genre,” Moira expressed, showing off her vintage _Talking Heads_ album t-shirt. Angela chuckled as a popular _Nirvana_ song came onto the radio. She sang along quietly as they came into town. Moira told her the address of the location and she slowly went through the small streets to their location.

“How did you find this place?” Angela asked and Moira guided her through a small fence between the buildings

“You can say I stumbled upon it by chance.” The walls lead to a busy little cafe. It smelled of espresso and sweet baked bread.

It brought back memories of her childhood with her mother. In the summer, they would stop by a coffee shop after going to the library. Her mother would buy her a muffin or a pastry while she bought a coffee.

She smiled as she glanced over at Moira, who tried to read the chalkboards without any help.

“Angela, do you know what you want?” Moira asked again. Angela snapped out of her little haze and looked over at the chalkboards.

“I’ll take the vanilla latte,” she answered.  “What are you taking?”

“A regular dark roast,” Moira decided. When it came to order, Moira’s German was much to be admired, but it was enough to get two medium coffees. Angela had found a brown leather sofa near the window and quickly claimed it as Moira followed slowly with mugs in her hands.

Leaving lipstick stains on the edge, she took a sip of her coffee, trying not to burn her tongue.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get you what you wanted,” Moira apologized as she sat down next to her, sinking into the leather cushion

“This coffee is just as good. Your German is improving well,” she complimented.

After many years of use, the curve of the cushions brought them closer to the middle as they spoke and told stories of past crushes and lovers. Angela listened about all of Moira’s exes. Her movements made her bashful of the women she loved, or she thought she did. Recalling them either brought joy, or sorrow.

“I envy you,” Moira said.

“I rather envy _you_ for all the experience.”

“Experience means nothing, you make the same mistakes again, and again.”

Angela took a gulp of her lukewarm coffee. “You learn from your mistakes.”

“You would be loving with your heart. Not with your brain.” Moira put her hand over her heart. “You have not learned heartbreak yet, and that is an envious ignorance.” Her voice was soft, but Angela saw a pain in her eyes. She didn’t answer for a moment, and took the time to finish her coffee.

They had became very close and quiet. Their legs touching and Moira’s arm rested on the back of the sofa. A heat was felt between them but no one spoke.

“Ow,” Angela spoke as she felt the stinging of a million needles in her leg. She tried to gracefully reposition herself, but felt Moira move out of her way to give more room.

“Let’s go for a walk,” Moira suggested and Angela was the first to rise to the occasion to walk off the numbness in her leg. “Take it easy, don’t want the blood to rush too quickly.”

“I’m fine,” Angela said as she took some shakey steps out the door. “I have a question.”

“About what?” Moira asked as she followed Angela to the street.

“When did you know?”

“When did I know what?”

They walked down the quiet residential streets. “When did you know that you preferred women?”

“When I was 15, and I met the neighbors granddaughter, she was 23 at the time,” she answered. Angela thought on it for a while, thought about how Moira was the reason why she knew that she preferred women. She was the reason that drove her almost into complete madness like a teenager in love.

“Do you?” Moira vaguely asked to cut the silence. Angela paused and rubbed her painted lips together.

“I think I do,” she responded with hot, blushing cheeks. “Stop.” Angela faced Moira, who was taken by surprise by the demand. Her stance was rigid and tall, looking into Moira’s red and blue eyes.

“I _love_ you,” she stated. Moira was speechless.”I can’t stop thinking about you.”

As Moira wanted to say something, there was a clack of thunder and the rain began to fall heavily. They needed to get back to the car. They turned on their heels and ran back down the taken path. Angela felt the water in the soles of her shoes and it dripping down her neck into the back of her dress.

In the car, they sat in silence, trying to catch their breath from the exercise. Angela felt shivers up her spine and down her arms as the rain water evaporated from her skin. Her teeth chattered as she put her car into the ignition and blasted the heat.  Moira ran her hands through her hair, cursing that the gel had washed out and left her with a shag.

There was an uncomfortable silence as Angela gripped the steering wheel as she felt the pulse of her unruly heart bring heat back into her cheeks. She had confessed what had been eating at her brain for weeks. She was a virgin, but not blind. Moira must’ve considered her a close friend in the field. A friend to bond over medicine, over writing papers, over being professors. Maybe even a child, a young woman well-behind her own success.

“I am not looking for an answer,” she lied as she pressed her forehead on the wheel, refusing to look at Moira.

“You will get one,” Moira stated in a tone she wasn’t used to hearing. It came from deep into her chest between chattering teeth.  “Angela.” It was enough to force her to look at her. Moira’s hair was a damp mess in front of her face. Her t-shirt hung heavily on her torso. Her eyes pierced her gaze with the same intensity as the rain coming onto the roof of the car.

“I’ve waited weeks for those words to come out of your mouth. I’ve been patient; you have the delicateness of a newborn lamb,” she explained. Angela was frozen in her seat. Moira pushed her hair from her face and chuckled. “You have no idea of the things you make me feel.” She shifted in her seat, her face inches away from Angela’s.

Her lips quivered. “Can I kiss you?” Angela whispered. Moira hovered, unsure of her intentions.

“Yes.”

Angela pressed her stained lips against Moira with the intensity of the upcoming summer storm. She felt Moira’s cold hand being placed behind her neck, pulling her closer. The space between prevented much movement; she could only hold onto her damp t-shirt in return.

Moira pulled back first, out of breath. She held Angela’s chin in her hand and pressed her wet forehead against hers. Angela’s head spun with emotions. Emotions she had never felt before towards another person. She wanted to laugh; she wanted to cry, but nothing came to her face but a crooked smile.

“Let’s go home, you’re soaked,” Moira commented as she stroked Angela’s arm. The car had since turned into a miniature rainforest and fogged up the windows. She nodded in response and sat back into her seat to drive back home.

The drive was pretty silent, but often enough, a giggle would escape them out of sheer disbelief. The rain had since died down, leaving the setting sun to peak through and warm up the earth. Moira could tangle her fingers with Angela when her hand wasn’t on the gear stick. She would raise her hand to mouth to give light kisses on her knuckles.

“Are you coming in?” Angela asked as she quickly exited her car and almost jogged back into Moira’s arms. The garden lamps began to turn on around them.

“If you want me to,” Moira replied. Angela nodded her head in response and pulled her by the hand into her home. “Aren’t you going to change? You’re still damp.”

“You are damp too. Aren’t you?”

“I would have to go get a new set of clothes from my bedroom.”

She excused herself, gave Angela a kiss on her forehead and quickly ran out the door to the professor’s house. Angela stood there in a haze before she ran up to her room to change. She peeled off her wet dress and bra, shivering from the slight breeze tickling her cold skin.

She thought of Moira’s hands against her skin, cupping her breast and tracing lines with her nails down her stomach to her pubic area. She looked down, and looked at all the blonde hair that peaked out the sides of her underwear. Her arousal turned into a critique.

“Angela, I have my clothes,” she heard Moira announce as she walked up the stairs. Before she could find what she was looking for, she grabbed her pillow and held it against her chest. Moira paused in her path. “I-I apologize for the interruption.”

“You can just turn around for now,” Angela ordered and Moira complied. She searched her closet for a dress, and found something black. She pulled it over her head and smoothed over the fabric over her braless chest. “I’m dressed.”

“Your turn.” Moira said and Angela quickly turned around. She can still remember the day she had spotted her undressing in her room; the shape of her breasts and how almost white her skin was. She wondered if Moira had ever accidentally seen her undress. “I’m dressed.” Moira had changed into a burgundy t-shirt and another pair of jeans. Her other clothes laid in a pile on the floor.

Angela had shoved their clothes into the dryer before joining Moira in the kitchen. She was boiling water for tea.

“Where are your teas?” she asked. Angela opened up a cupboard to a few boxes. “No black tea?”

“Too bitter,” she said as she picked a box of green tea. “Closest I have is Oolong but. I haven’t touched it since I bought it.” She searched for it. She felt Moira’s hand on her back as she went on her tiptoes to reach in further.

“I’ll take the Oolong, it will have to do,” she sighed.

There were constant subtle touches. Moira would stroke her cheek as she pushed the hair out of her face to Angela always reaching out for her hand.

The sun had set, and the breeze of the night left Angela grabbing her father’s baggy dark green cardigan. It smelled of moth balls and cigars.

“Does the professor know you’re here?” Angela asked as she got toiletries ready for Moira to bathe.

“He figured I would be with you for the night. Spoke about how our studies are so different, yet, similar.”

“He’s always been vague like that,” Angela commented on as she placed the towels on the counter. She walked away. “Let me know if you need anything, I’ll be in my room.”

“Won’t you join me?” Moira asked as Angela began closing the door behind her. She froze and turned around, and began thinking about all her naked flaws on her body. She wasn’t prepared, but god damn, she thought, she had already came this far.

“I could,” Angela replied as she walked back into the bathroom. She began running the bath with a bubble bath she saved for special occasions. “Don’t judge, I haven’t shaved.”

“I’m beyond the age of caring for superficial things,” Moira chuckled as they undressed.

Angela loved how Moira’s body had freckles everywhere and how her red mane matched what was under her arms and down her stomach to her pubic area. It left her smiling.

“You have nothing to fear, my love, for you are a beautiful woman,” Moira complemented as she stepped into the bath first. Angela followed and placed herself between Moira’s legs, leaning against her chest. Next to her, Moira was paler, with red freckles up and down her arms.

“What’s on your mind?” Moira whispered into her hair. Angela chuckled.

“Nothing that you don’t already know.”

When the water became lukewarm, they decided they should hurry up the washing portion of a bath. Moira scrubbed shampoo into Angela’s head and vice versa. She laughed at the streaks of mascara running down her face and rubbed her thumbs on her cheeks to try to get it to wash off.  

“Tomorrow, I am going into town with the professor. I’m doing a conference in Geneva,” Moira explained as she scrolled her phone as she waited for Angela to finish brushing her teeth.

“Okay,” Angela spoke through toothpaste foam before spitting it out in the sink. Part of her was a bit disappointed that she wouldn’t have Moira to herself again tomorrow, the rest of her understood that her medical studies were important. Romantic relations wouldn’t stop her from excelling in her career. “At what time?”

“At ten.”

“Alright, I’ll put an alarm,” she said as she picked up her own phone to find the Clock application. Moira placed a hand on her’s.

“It’s fine, I’ll put it on mine.”

Moira switched her contacts for her glasses, and settled next to Angela in bed in an oversized David Bowie t-shirt and her underwear. Angela was reading the last pages of her library book.

“Aren’t you late with that?” Moira commented as she leaned her head on her shoulder. Angela tilted her head on hers in response.

“I renewed it. Kind of difficult to finish literature when there is a nosey neighbour distracting me.”

“Oh shush, I have my fair share of unfinished books. Unlike you, I have a paper to publish soon.”

“Please, unlike you, I have coursework to do for my _fall_ session.”

Moira placed her hand on her chin and turned her head away from her book. She placed a gentle kiss on her lips and slowly pulled away to lay down. Angela stared in awe for a second before cracking a smile at the older woman who closed her eyes to indicate she wanted to sleep.

“Goodnight Moira.”

“Goodnight Angela.”

Angela did not hear Moira’s alarm go off. She wasn’t there when she woke up that morning. She dragged herself out of bed and down the stairs to the kitchen to make herself some coffee. To her surprise, the coffee machine was already finished. There was a piece of ripped paper taped to the front of the machine.

_I’ll see you in the evening, have a wonderful day. - Moira_

She grinned as she poured herself a cup of coffee. She thought about how much work she had left to do.

“ _Guten Morgen_ , Angela,” her neighbour wished as she walked out of her home to enjoy some of the sunshine.

“ _Guten Morgen_ ,” she greeted. She helped her neighbour pick apricots from her tree and placed them gently in the basket near the tree. There weren’t many left on the tree and the old woman asked if she can climb into the tree to get the last ones. She sighed and agreed and climbed the tree and gently dropped the remaining fruit down to her.

“ _Das Ende der Aprikosensaison bedeutet, dass der Herbst kommt,_ ” she spoke as Angela carefully made her way down the tree. She took a glance at her father’s peach tree, and she already saw a few fallen overripe fruit at the base.

“ _Die Pfirsiche sind reif,_ ” Angela spoke aloud as she walked over to the tree and pulled some from the branches and placed them in the woman’s basket. She thanked her with a big smile before going back into her home. She picked a few for herself.

It was the first day in a long time that she had a silent home. She picked up her notes and her laptop to finalize her medical writing class assignments. She settled onto her favourite spot and began to go over her readings from the year before.

There was a light breeze that picked up in the afternoon; she heard the neighbour’s wind chimes from where she sat. She tapped away at her laptop, rereading her words and using new books as reference. She wrote in her agenda that she had to send more scans to the library to put in her printed coursebook. Her German coursebook was completed, and by the evening her English version was up to date.

The sound of a car door slamming shut broke her out of her trance. She heard mumbling in the Irish accent she became accustomed to hearing. Her heart jumped in her chest as she  moved away from her desk and made her way quickly down the steps to her front door.

Before she can even ring the doorbell, Angela swung the door open. Moira stood there in a business suit with a startled look on her face.

“My, I can get used to you,” she chuckled.

Angela would never get over how Moira’s lips felt against hers. The feeling of goosebumps grazed her spine as Moira gently pushed her into the wall to kiss her. Her height was a disadvantage and she was on her tiptoes trying to kiss her back with all her might. Out of breath, they pressed their foreheads together as they regained the oxygen they wouldn’t take in.

“I know a place,” Angela breathed and dragged Moira out into her mother’s garden. It was wild. She had let the flowers grow on their own since she bought the house. The rose bushes were several meters high.

“Think they will hear us?” Moira questioned as Angela tugged on her belt.

“They shouldn’t, unless; otherwise.”

Angela unbuttoned her own shirt as she straddled Moira. There was no opposing voice screaming in her brain that told her to run away. She was sure this time. Her heart sang in arousal as Moira put her hands on her hips.

Her back was stained with grass as her dry throat begged for air. Several little bursts of pleasure made her squirm and laugh as she recovered from her orgasms. She looked up at the twilight sky as she pushed her hair away from her sweaty forehead. She was in ecstasy.

Moira rested her head on her pelvis; her arm wrapped around Angela’s thigh. Her redhead has flopped to the side and her face was pink from the act. She tried not to breathe near Angela’s clit as the poor girl was very sensitive to even the slightest of touch.

“Satisfied?” Moira teased. Angela nodded in response and placed her hands over herself to keep Moira from over stimulating her.

As their hearts quieted down, Angela’s brain drifted in and out of sleep. It took a gentle nudge from Moira to say she was getting eaten alive by mosquitoes for them to get dressed and head back home. In their little run to the home, Angela could not keep her hands off of Moira, holding onto her hand or putting her arm around her waist.

August had reminded them that deadlines were due; both of them rushed to finished work that they had been procrastinating. Moira was more often with the professor than with Angela, despite laying in her bed every night.

“I shouldn’t be long,” Moira reassured her sleepy girlfriend. Angela sat up in bed, looking at the clock. Moira pushed her hair aside and laid a gentle kiss on her forehead and then on her mouth. She was soon gone and Angela pulled the covers higher to go back to sleep.

It was already dark when Moira arrived that day. Angela was sitting in the back of her home smoking a cigarette in one hand and listening to the crickets and the train passing in the far distance.

“What have you done today?” Moira asked as she pulled out her own pack. She borrowed Angela’s lighter from the table.

“The least I’ve done all summer.”

Moira bit her lip as she let the smoke out her nose.

Angela squished her bud in the ashtray as she felt the light breeze tickle her legs. She was cold. Moira wasn’t far behind, putting out the half smoked cigarette.

She kissed Moira in the darkness of the kitchen before pulling her by the arm up the steps to her bedroom. Moira followed close behind, pulling on the edge of her shorts.

“Tell me I’m yours,” Angela whispered as she kissed her again. The taste and smell of fresh smoked cigarettes filled their senses.

“You’re mine,” Moira obliged as she undressed her.

It was intoxicating as she spread her legs for another time. Moira’s nails into her thighs and her teeth on her neck as the moon made its appearance from behind the clouds, illuminating the beads of sweat on their skin.

“Leave your hair down,” Moira said as she saw Angela pull her hair up in her usually ponytail. Angela let her hair drop back down in its messiness. Moira, in nothing but her shirt sat in the armchair across from the bed.

“When is your last day here?” Angela asked.

“September 15th,” she replied.

“What day is it?”

“August 9th.”

There was only a few weeks left until Moira would go back to London. Her head filled with thoughts of dropping everything at the University and leave with her. She had enough money in her bank account to survive for a few weeks, months, until she could find a job in London. Her passport was tucked away in her suitcase.

These thought kept her up until dawn. She felt the peaks of sunlight over the mountain. Moira was asleep next to her. They laid naked beside each other. Angela couldn’t help but admire her lover once again, her eyes roaming over the collection of freckles that blessed her shoulders, chest and arms. Her red hair had become even more disheveled; revealing the gray strands she tried to hide.

Angela suddenly could no longer sit in bed, she was too awake. She found her loose white dress and quietly made her way down the steps and out her front door. Her grass still damp with morning dew. The birds were singing and the cicadas buzzed for another hot summer day.

She breathed in the air deeply, as if she had forgotten what the smell of greenery. After walking further into her garden she stared up at the sky and looked at the clouds

“Mama, Papa, hear me,” she whispered. “ _Ich habe mich verlaufen_.”

She laid in the grass, feeling the warmth of the sun on her body. Her eyes watered, leaving tears down her face into her hair.  She closed her eyes as her vision became blurred.

“There you are,” she heard Moira say. “My dear.”

Her body shadowed the sun as she leaned down and left kisses on her lips. Her hands cupped Angela’s face. She let her body fall beside her younger partner.

“The last thing I ever want is to depart from here,” she whispered. “From you.”

Every hour, every minute, every second was closer to the date that she dreaded. The days have gotten longer and she reached for her sweaters more often.

Moira spent many hours at her desk in her loaned room. She had fallen behind and there was much more to write. Angela had asked why she wouldn’t work at her home. Moira had answered that the bed was too distracting.

“Your research will never cease to frighten me, Dr. O’Deorain,” Angela commented as she read drafts, charts, and equations.

“It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, Dr. Ziegler,” she replied as she typed away at her computer. Angela turned away and continued to read on. She was only slightly bored. She switched position on the long armchair to continue reading her research. As she read further, it became evident that Moira was more a scientist in medicine than she was a medical scientist.  It was bold. It was controversial.

She got up from the chair and walked around Moira’s room in the professor’s home. He had bookshelves filled with medical literature. She remembered as a child how she sat in the same room for hours looking at the illustrations and trying to understand the terms.

Her coursebooks were sent in for printing.

Her teaching schedule was finalized.

There was a ticking sound as the seconds passed but there was no clock in the room.

Her eyes barely read the words as she scanned another book. The images and charts became a blur of colour and text. She laid back in the chair and stared at the ceiling until she drifted off to sleep.

When she awoke, it was evening, and there was a heavy blanket on her. Moira was still at her desk, tapping away. Nothing has changed much and another day has passed by. She brought the blanket up higher.

There were no more hot summer days. The autumn weather settled in as cold winds forced the windows closed and extra blankets. Angela drove Moira into town to have her draft printed to be sent in once she arrives back in London. Moira pulled her coat closer to her body as they sat in silence.

The leaves on the mountains began to change their colours. There were specks of yellow, red and orange throughout the trees.

“Did you book your flight yet?”

“Yes, I purchased the tickets back in May.” It stung. Her fate was determined long before she even arrived.

“How is your schedule like?”

“I give lectures on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.The rest goes are either administrative work or Laboratory time.”

“Busy then.”

“Yes, quite,” Moira said as she opened the car door to pick up her papers. Angela sunk in her seat as she turned off the engine. She brought her sleeves over her hands as she leaned back and stared at the town around her.

The weather meant most of the youth that stayed in town began to move more central for the colder months; leaving their summer homes for their winter apartments. The scene quieted down. Angela, for the first time since moving back home, didn’t want to spend the new season alone. Many years she had been alone in that house, and the walls felt never ending.

Moira came back into the car with a big grin on her face. “The quality of the prints are astounding.” She put the envelope in her bookbag. “Can we go to that cafe for coffee?” she asked.

“Sure,” Angela replied.

“You cried,” Moira noticed as Angela looked at her. Her eyes were slightly puffy and red. She wiped her eyes on her sweater.

“It’s nothing, let’s go for coffee,” she laughed off as she wiped her face with the sleeve of her thick cardigan. Moira reached for her thigh, gentle stroking as she drove to the familiar coffee shop.

“Your German has improved,” Angela commented as Moira successfully ordered her vanilla spiced latte. She brought the mug up to her lips and sipped at the foam.

“Somewhat,” she replied as she placed her tea with too many teaspoons of honey in it on the coffee table. They sat on the leather sofa, feeling the warmth of the place. Moira has casually wrapped her arm around Angela’s shoulders, burying her nose in her hair for a moment. “May I please have the reason why you were crying now?”

“It’s nothing you should be worried about, just general woes, like your departure,” she explained as she stared down at her drink.

“I care for you, and I want to know. I understand, it’s going to be difficult for you,” Moira tried to comfort her. She rubbed her shoulder.

“Will you call?”

“I’ll call every night.”

Angela made herself comfortable in Moira’s arms as she sipped her drink. She needed to memorize her shape, and her scent.

There was no chasing, no deep confessions as they took the same walk down the path. Moira’s hand was in Angela’s, tightly as they turned the same corners and houses.

“What is your apartment like in London?”

“It’s quite plain. I prefer monochromatic, contemporary, interior design.”

“Is it big?”

“Yes, approximately 180 meters square feet.”

Angela imagined a penthouse apartment in the core of London, with sleek interior design and rich, lush, cream fabrics.

“Are you planning on visiting?” Moira asked.

“Of course,” Angela stated, making Moira smile in excitement.

Angela never fully let go of Moira’s hand and took note of the curves of her fingers and how much longer they felt against hers.

Moira lost herself in the way that Angela looked in the sunlight; how her hair blonde hair bounced off her shoulders with every step she took and how her hips swayed in her long skirt.

She kissed her many times. She brought her face close to hers, finding comfort in her baby blue. Her lips were covered in cherry balm that smeared and made its way onto her taste buds. She changed her grasp from her face to her waist, that was lost under layers of fabric but damn, she can still feels the curve where her hips started.

Time flew too fast and before she knew it she was laying restless in her bed, tossing and turning. Moira was awake too.

“I can’t sleep,” Angela whispered. Moira groaned.

“Neither can I,” she said.

Moira tried to rest Angela’s busy mind by lightly stroking her naked back. She listened for her breath and finally she heard her snoring; she had fallen asleep out of exhaustion. Moira closed her eyes, trying to pace her own breathing to her’s. The night was long, as she finally fell asleep at the crack of dawn.

The professor helped her load her belongings into Angela’s car.

“Thank you, for being a wonderful scientist in residence. You are always welcomed to come back to visit our home here in Bauma,” she shook her hand and handed her a gift.

“It was such a pleasure to write with you, you are welcomed as well, to guest lecture for my class at Oxford,” she returned as she gripped the small box tightly.

Angela leaned against her car as she waited for Moira to say her goodbyes to the professor and his wife. She was tired and heavy. She had dreaded the day and covered her teary eyes behind dark sunglasses and cigarette smoke.

Under clear skies, Angela drove in silence. Moira’s hand with on her thigh in comfort. It felt different but familiar as she drove into the city of Zurich. She had drifted off her path to work and instead followed the signs to the airport. She tightly gripped the steering wheel as she tried to keep herself together as the destination drew near.

“You’re trembling, Angela,” Moira commented as Angela looked for parking. She finally found a spot and quickly turned off the car.

“I’m just anxious,” she replied as she exited the car, pulling her pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and held onto it until they exited the lot. She quickly lit one up.

“This will be your last until you get to London,” she passed one to Moira and she took it.

“You’re upset my dear,” Moira said as she lit it with the provided lighter.

“I cannot retain my emotions,” Angela replied as she slipped her sunglasses to the top of her head. She sniffled as the tears fell from her eyes. “I rather this not be the last time I see you.”

Angela couldn’t even finish her cigarette. She put it out early to get responsibly bring Moira to her gate. The tears ran down her face as they reached the furthest she can go. Moira brought her close holding onto what she can. She buried her face in her blonde hair, letting her sob into her coat. She cried about possibly losing the next person she ever loved. Her parents were gone and she had not had someone to love in a long while. She held tightly as if Moira was dying.

“I’ll return,” Moira comforted. “I’ll return.”

Angela slowly calmed down and wiped her tears on her scarf. Moira had taken out a tissue from her pocket and began to press it to her cheeks.

“Any chance I will get, I will buy a plane ticket.”

“I will try as well,” she said she blew her nose in the damp tissue.

“I must go. I’m sorry Angela,” Moira pardoned as she gently pulled away. Moira placed a final kiss on her lips, tasting the salt and nicotine. She pulled her close one last time before she left go.

She couldn’t say goodbye, and neither could Angela. So she watched her walk away and fade into the crowd. There were no more tears to cry. Her body was frozen in place as she tried to take in the last feelings of Moira on her lips.

She stood there as she regained the strength to go back to her car.  It was surreal but she told herself:

She found comfort in loneliness, once.

The new school year began shortly after and left her busier than ever. Academia kept her mind busy and distracted. She worked long hours into the night correcting and reading her students’ essays.

At once, she thought the thoughts of Moira had left her mind and she was too busy to think of romance, but the mind was a complex system of hidden memories and she found herself disconnected from her body and into a space where her summer love was in the seat next to her. She would blink and she was sitting at her desk. She rubbed her eyes and got ready for bed.

Moira had contacted her on a chilly evening in December. The first few snowflakes has fallen and Angela had put wood in the fireplace. Her cellphone was at 15%. Her heart jumped as her phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Good evening Angela, it’s Moira.”

“Good evening, how are you doing?”

“I’m doing well. I have something to discuss with you.”

Her heart dropped by the tone of her voice. Moira was supposed to come back to Bauma in the spring to give a lecture at the University in Angela’s Anatomy class. It wasn’t set in stone, but at the time it was probable.

“Yes, I am listening.”

“I can no longer come to Bauma this spring.”

She held it together. “Why?”

“I will be in Mumbai to present my new research discoveries,” she heard Moira. “I-I am sorry, my love.”

“It’s fine,” she sniffled as she wrapped her arm around her chest. “It’s fine,” she repeated.

“I’m glad you understand. I have to let you go. I’m at a dinner party.”

“I love you!” Angel said.

“I-I love you too. Goodnight.” she rushed and hung up the phone.

Angela sniffled and stared at the fire until the tears fell. She wiped them with the sleeve with her sweater until they didn’t stop falling and she was sobbing in the corner of her sofa.

The snowflakes outside the window kept falling, and eventually began to cover the ground in white. The fire crackled as it burned the wood. Winter slowly made its way into the small town in Switzerland, and the cold settled in Angela’s heart once again.

Once she finished crying, she quietly searched her phone for the contact. She found it and she connected to the line.

“Hello, Jack?” she asked over the phone. “What are your plans for Christmas?”

**Author's Note:**

> *Did my research too late that Swiss Universities start August 1st. Oh well.


End file.
